The Doorway Between Worlds: A Reflection for the Turning of the Year
There are moments that change us without asking our permission — moments that open something in us long before we have the language for what has happened.
For me, one of those moments happened in the early hours of March 1, 1987, the morning after my first husband, Charles, passed. I was twenty-five. He was twenty-six. The grief was indescribable. I was suspended in that half-awake, half-asleep state where the veil is thin and the world feels both near and impossibly far.
And in that liminal space, I felt something enter through the top of my head — gently, peacefully — and move down through my body before dissolving through my heart. It lasted only a few seconds, but I felt a peace so complete, so steady, I have carried it with me for decades.
Only now, nearly forty years later, do I understand it more fully.
That moment wasn’t just goodbye.
It was an opening.
And it was the beginning of a path I didn’t yet know I was on.
✨ What Happened That Night — Through Both Science and Spirit
Across cultures and spiritual traditions, the crown of the head is seen as the gateway where consciousness meets the infinite. Modern neuroscience agrees: in states of shock, grief, and hypnagogia, the brain becomes unusually receptive, allowing intuitive or non-ordinary experiences to imprint with clarity.
Near-death research shows that at the moment of passing, consciousness can expand beyond the body. Some call this a shared-death experience — when the departing soul touches a loved one one last time in a way that is felt physically, emotionally, or claircognitively.
And the sensation of a presence moving through the body is not fantasy; it aligns with how the nervous system, vagus nerve, and electromagnetic field respond to states of extreme coherence and emotional openness.
The heart, which generates the strongest electromagnetic field in the body, is often where these experiences resolve. It’s where love is stored. It’s where connection remains.
So yes — what I felt that morning can be understood through both science and spirit.
And yes — it opened something in me.
Not a perfection.
Not an instant enlightenment.
A doorway.
✨ Awakening Is Not Always Graceful
I want to say this part clearly because it matters:
I am not perfect.
I have never been perfect.
I have spent years — decades — moving through insecurities, longing to be seen, to be loved, to be chosen, to belong. After my second marriage ended, I learned just how human I really am.
Awakening does not bypass our humanity.
Awakening includes our humanity.
It asks us to walk through jealousy, loneliness, desire, fear, shame, hope, resilience, and joy — often all in the same breath.
Even now, as many of you have felt in your own lives, things still surface. Old patterns rise up, not to punish us, but to be released with more wisdom and compassion than we had before.
So no — this is not a story of perfection.
This is a story of evolution.
✨ Why This Memory Is Returning Now
As we approach the end of 2025 and step into 2026, the energy feels different — like a collective exhale after years of intensification.
People are waking up.
People are changing.
People are remembering who they are.
Many are feeling:
- vivid dreams
- resurfacing memories
- emotional waves
- identity shifts
- physical sensations
- old wounds asking for closure
- a longing for truth, presence, and alignment
This is not regression.
This is emergence.
We are shedding skins we’ve outgrown.
We are softening into a deeper sense of self.
We are being asked to upgrade our inner architecture.
So perhaps it makes perfect sense that my memory with Charles — the original doorway — resurfaced now. Not for grief. Not for story. But for meaning.
It is a reminder that we are more than we think we are.
And that awakening is not a single moment — it is a continuum.
✨ A Message for the Collective
Wherever you are in your journey — whether you are releasing, remembering, unraveling, or rebuilding — I hope you hear this:
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
And you are not alone.
You are evolving.
Your system is recalibrating.
Your soul is stretching into a more expanded version of itself.
Awakening can be messy.
It can be nonlinear.
It can look like progress and then pulling back.
It can feel like clarity in one moment and confusion in the next.
But it is all part of the same movement:
Returning to yourself.
Coming home to your own truth.
Opening in ways you were always meant to.
If you are feeling tender right now, or curious, or unsettled, or strangely hopeful — you are right on time.
We are in a collective doorway.
And on the other side is a deeper, more authentic, more liberated way of being.
✨ May This Season Be an Activation
As we close out the year, I offer this prayer for you — for us — for all of us:
May the old fall away with grace.
May the new arrive gently.
May your heart open without fear.
May your intuition strengthen.
May your path illuminate step by step.
And may you remember the truth you’ve carried all along:
you are guided, you are held, you are becoming.
